A week after being dumped and my feelings are still up and down like a yo yo. One minute its "business as normal" and I'm just getting on with life, then the next minute I feel very alone in the world.
It's like being in a crowd but being alone.
I was out with friends clubbing last night and even though I was having fun and dancing, I was aware that inside I was alone. This was again brought home to me today as I was delivering mail, an old lady had stood waiting each day. She pointed to a picture on the wall of a man, who happened to be her dead husband. She was very sad and had spent many hours crying as she missed her partner. In a very small way, I could feel her loss and it made me aware that I too face that prospect.
You might think I'm being negative but I'm just a realist - most people in their latter years face the prospect of being alone, especially when their partner dies. I stand a good chance of being one of those statistics, no matter how many friends I have I face the inevitable future.
On a positive note, I'm feeling quite optimistic about life in general - "everything happens for a reason" - so the saying goes and if that's true then I'm looking forward to the new opportunities coming my way. 2005 has been a great year and I have so much to be thankful for. Out of my sadness has come much happiness - my friends have been really great and in my hour of need they have been there for me. Most don't even know I have this Blog so don't know how I'm feeling inside most days but I've got through the week because of them. From a simple text message to a "Thanks for being a good friend" card in the post - they have been wonderful.
Thanks.
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